Your boss doesn’t want you to be a perfectionist
It's NOT a "good" character flaw.
Hands up who’s answered “oh I’m a perfectionist” to the interview question “what’s your biggest character flaw?”.
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
Hands up who felt smug about it?
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
And why wouldn’t you think perfectionism is a good thing?
The perfectionism is what drives you to
Double check there’s no typos in that email, so that important client doesn’t think less of you
Work late to making that presentation look beautiful - because everyone knows first impressions count
Stick to protocols, while writing guidance for colleagues on how to work more effectively, so the whole team benefits.
How can that be a bad thing?!
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but leading psychologists in the field of perfectionism see it as a wholly negative character trait, with no positives.
GULP.
Even now, I sometimes find that a bit hard to believe. I mean surely they’re exaggerating? Tell me they’re exaggerating?!! 😬
But no, they’re not.
Dr Thomas Curran says the relationship between perfectionism and performance is very-weak to non-existent.
Um, excuse me, WHAT?!
Being a perfectionist DOESN’T help you achieve more. It doesn’t make you better at your job.
He gives two key reasons for this
Perfectionists work too hard, driven by a fear that they will never be good enough.
I know you’ve been there. I certainly have.
When I KNOW I’m not being productive anymore, but I keep going because I wouldn’t be able to relax if the job wasn’t good enough.
The person with high standards that isn’t a perfectionist, can take that break. Go home and enjoy dinner with their partner. And come back the next day ready to hit the ground running.
We can’t work at full speed forever (read about the zone of delusion here) but perfectionists can’t rest if it’s not, well, perfect.
Because perfectionists are scared of not being good enough, they procrastinate and avoid tasks that seem too difficult.
Tell me HONESTLY, have you ever avoided something because it seemed hard?
I mean, who hasn’t?! 🙈
If you weren’t a perfectionist, ie. if you had high standards AND believed you were good enough, you’d stop being so afraid of failure.
You’d eagerly sign up to a new CPD course to improve your skills.
You’d start difficult projects and ask for help as you went along.
And you’d still check there were no typos in important emails, you’d still make that presentation beautiful, you’d still help colleagues improve too… BUT you’d do it because you wanted to, not because you HAD to.
It’s the difference between eating chocolate because it tastes good, and having a voice in your head saying EAT THIS RIGHT NOW, FAST, GO!
(maybe not the best analogy, because I reckon I’d still enjoy the chocolate, but hopefully you get my jist).
Life is SO much more enjoyable when we’re driven to do things because we WANT to, rather than because we HAVE to.
Releasing perfectionism only has benefits.
Because if you can release perfectionism AND have high standards, you will
Enjoy more of your work (and life) because you’re not constantly driven by a fear of not being good enough
Switch off after work rather than spending the time double checking you sent all your emails.
Actually achieve MORE at work maybe finally do that CPD you’ve been eyeing up for ages but have worried you’re not good enough to do?
Now if this is blowing your mind like it blew mine, I’d love it if you let me know in the comments (click the little speech bubble at the bottom).
And if you want to learn more about how to have those high standards, WITHOUT constantly feeling like you’re not good enough, join us in my FREE WORKSHOP on releasing perfectionism.
Tuesday October 22nd 8pm UK time
Can’t attend live? Listen to the reply on the way to work, while doing the dishes, or when out for a walk.
Email now to tell me you want to come, and you’ll be added to a draw for a free 30 minute one-to-one. So you can personalised support in not being a perfectionist about not being a perfectionist.
Sending love,
Lucy x
PS. I appreciate this one isn’t super short. I’m not perfect 🤷♂️😂🥰
This line really hit home for me: 'It’s the difference between eating chocolate because it tastes good, and having a voice in your head saying EAT THIS RIGHT NOW, FAST, GO!' It perfectly captures that feeling of being driven by compulsion rather than genuine desire. I'm realizing that so much of my work life has been like that second scenario. Time for a change! (Don't ask me what that change is yet... I'm still working on the details haha)
This is SO me! Still blows my mind that perfectionism and performance has such a weak relationship, mental 🤯