I love how you highlighted the irony of perfectionism leading to unhappiness. It's like chasing a mirage – the harder we strive for flawlessness, the more elusive it becomes, and the more frustrated we feel. Your point about the peas and the 3-minute cook time had me laughing out loud because I've totally been there!
Glad that's not just me on the peas 😂 I honestly thought that was totally reasonable - it's only in hindsight that I can look back and realise how much patience my husband had with me at times 🙈😅
Geez. Do I have to comment with a number? 🤪 The only thing I dislike about commenting is needing to go back and reference something and discover if I do, what I wrote up to going back is discarded.
Right now is that wonderful time between wake and sleep when all things are possible.
Okay. Number?
Never mind. It's the list overwhelm thing.
But I'm pretty good with lists now. I write one at a time on post-it notes --- then move them from do to done to celebrate.
Oh Donna your comments always make me smile. I know that feeling with the comments, and then scrolling up and loosing your thread 😭
Sounds like you've got the overwhelm with lists things down now - a big thing I suggest is focusing on one thing at a time, rather than trying to do multiple at a time, and it sounds like you're already smashing that 💃💃💃
Focusing on one thing at a time is a luxury I enjoy immensely Lucy. Especially when my dog-kids comply and use the dog door, and hubby calls me on his phone when needs to get up.
That way, I can focus without being distracted 😜
Making it my mission today to work the ridiculous list that grew as I kept moving the post-it notes forward... one-at-a-time 💜
There's obviously a lot more I could say on these, but to keep things simple, I've gone with a single theme that would help with all of these points: slowing down.
2: everything feels urgent. SLOW DOWN. When we run around at 100mph it's hard to see clearly, just like it would be harder to take in the view on a fast run versus a leisurely stroll. A bit less speed and you'll be able to see what isn't quite so urgent and can wait a few days (or hours 🤪)
5. Microplan everything: this is often a result of having too much to do and everything feeling urgent, so you try and control what you can by scheduling a time for everything. Try and slow down, as per point 2, and then see what can be removed - do you really need to schedule "reply to text from mum" for example (I'm sure that's not just me!)
6. If something doesn't go as planned, you snap: with less speed, you can create a pause between an action happening (something not going to plan) and your response (ie. not snapping).
8. Thinking of worst case scenarios: use the lower speed to notice these, so you can stop them as they occur. If we're doing this on autopilot, we're knee deep in a story about drowning before we realise, which makes it harder to pull back and get perspective.
Would love to hear your thoughts and how you handle these? X
Hi Marg, thanks for commenting! I could write an essay on each, but I’ll try and keep this short!
2: Everything things urgent: SLOW DOWN. This will help you get perspective and see which things are genuinely urgent. Think of it like driving a car through a town at 70mph; you wouldn’t be able to read the road signs and work out where you were going, and you’d end up missing a turning. A bit less speed, even when you have a lot to do, can help see more clearly and be more productive.
3: To-do list overwhelming - the above should help with this. It’s also what we’re covering in MOMENTUM this month if you want more detail on this!
10: Feeling relief when completing something difficult rather than pride: oooph a big one! This comes down to our beliefs about ourselves and not feeling good enough - check out the free releasing perfectionism workshop for more on this https://www.themindfullivingacademy.co.uk/freebies/releasingperfectionism
I love how you highlighted the irony of perfectionism leading to unhappiness. It's like chasing a mirage – the harder we strive for flawlessness, the more elusive it becomes, and the more frustrated we feel. Your point about the peas and the 3-minute cook time had me laughing out loud because I've totally been there!
Glad that's not just me on the peas 😂 I honestly thought that was totally reasonable - it's only in hindsight that I can look back and realise how much patience my husband had with me at times 🙈😅
Geez. Do I have to comment with a number? 🤪 The only thing I dislike about commenting is needing to go back and reference something and discover if I do, what I wrote up to going back is discarded.
Right now is that wonderful time between wake and sleep when all things are possible.
Okay. Number?
Never mind. It's the list overwhelm thing.
But I'm pretty good with lists now. I write one at a time on post-it notes --- then move them from do to done to celebrate.
Keep scribing sista!
(I got up at 3am to let the dogs out... There's that tune again 🐾)
Oh Donna your comments always make me smile. I know that feeling with the comments, and then scrolling up and loosing your thread 😭
Sounds like you've got the overwhelm with lists things down now - a big thing I suggest is focusing on one thing at a time, rather than trying to do multiple at a time, and it sounds like you're already smashing that 💃💃💃
Focusing on one thing at a time is a luxury I enjoy immensely Lucy. Especially when my dog-kids comply and use the dog door, and hubby calls me on his phone when needs to get up.
That way, I can focus without being distracted 😜
Making it my mission today to work the ridiculous list that grew as I kept moving the post-it notes forward... one-at-a-time 💜
Lucy, for me it’s: 2, 5, 6, 8 totally me most of the time
There's obviously a lot more I could say on these, but to keep things simple, I've gone with a single theme that would help with all of these points: slowing down.
2: everything feels urgent. SLOW DOWN. When we run around at 100mph it's hard to see clearly, just like it would be harder to take in the view on a fast run versus a leisurely stroll. A bit less speed and you'll be able to see what isn't quite so urgent and can wait a few days (or hours 🤪)
5. Microplan everything: this is often a result of having too much to do and everything feeling urgent, so you try and control what you can by scheduling a time for everything. Try and slow down, as per point 2, and then see what can be removed - do you really need to schedule "reply to text from mum" for example (I'm sure that's not just me!)
6. If something doesn't go as planned, you snap: with less speed, you can create a pause between an action happening (something not going to plan) and your response (ie. not snapping).
8. Thinking of worst case scenarios: use the lower speed to notice these, so you can stop them as they occur. If we're doing this on autopilot, we're knee deep in a story about drowning before we realise, which makes it harder to pull back and get perspective.
Would love to hear your thoughts and how you handle these? X
2, 3, 9 & 10 are the ones that resonate strongest with me
Hi Marg, thanks for commenting! I could write an essay on each, but I’ll try and keep this short!
2: Everything things urgent: SLOW DOWN. This will help you get perspective and see which things are genuinely urgent. Think of it like driving a car through a town at 70mph; you wouldn’t be able to read the road signs and work out where you were going, and you’d end up missing a turning. A bit less speed, even when you have a lot to do, can help see more clearly and be more productive.
3: To-do list overwhelming - the above should help with this. It’s also what we’re covering in MOMENTUM this month if you want more detail on this!
9: Simple decisions are difficult: check out this free guide and meditation I created to help with this https://www.themindfullivingacademy.co.uk/freebies/making-decisions-the-essentials
10: Feeling relief when completing something difficult rather than pride: oooph a big one! This comes down to our beliefs about ourselves and not feeling good enough - check out the free releasing perfectionism workshop for more on this https://www.themindfullivingacademy.co.uk/freebies/releasingperfectionism