Christmas stressing you out?
The secret to enjoying more without the stress
I used to love using Christmas stamps to post my Christmas cards.
It made them feel extra Christmassy, and anything extra-Christmassy was good in my books.
But as I became more mindful, I noticed I was feeling stressed about getting to the post office to buy the stamps.
To manage the stress, I tried a technique I now teach my clients
I removed everything non-essential from my to-do list.
Clearly the Christmas stamps were not essential.
But I felt genuinely sad at not doing it 🥹
So while mindfulness helped me enjoy more of the other (more important!) aspects of Christmas, it took mental strength to keep reminding myself MULTIPLE TIMES that I wasn’t ruining Christmas by not using Christmas stamps.
I mean, really? It was just stamps!
(btw I feel ridiculous sharing this story, but do you relate?!)
Why did it bother me so much?!
I know now, it was related to a belief that “I’m not a good friend / daughter / person if I don’t do things to make others feel special”.
If I’d known THAT at the time, I’d have told myself “no-one’s thinking you’re not a good friend when you use regular stamps”.
That, I could have believed.
That made sense.
That would have quietened the voice in my head that kept saying “but it’s not much effort to go to the post office on your lunch break, you can do it!”.
The voice that kept me doing things that filled up my diary but weren’t essential and ultimately made me stressed and not enjoy any of it.
Mindfulness helps this, but it’s slow
Mindfulness is repeatedly telling that voice “no not now” and coming back to the present moment.
Possible, but hard at times. Especially if the voice is loud and persistent.
With mindfulness, I couldn’t see WHY I found it so hard to let things go. I just had to keep trying.
This is where EFT comes in
If you wanted to order a baguette in a French cafe, in French, what would be easier?
Waiting until you’re at the front of the queue and then frantically fumbling through a French-English dictionary?
Or taking 10 minutes in advance to look through the words and get them into a logical order so you have it when you need it?
In EFT, you use a set process to talk through the thoughts in your head, untangle them, work out where they came from and whether or not they’re true.
So when you’re in a situation like feeling overwhelmed about buying Christmas stamps, you can go “OH this is me feeling like I need to do something special for people!”.
Which makes it so much easier to then choose to do something different in that moment. To shut up the voice in your head that says “you NEED to do this”.
Want to enjoy more of Christmas this year?
I’m trialling a thing.
I’m offering 60 minute EFT sessions to release perfectionism at Christmas.
You’ll leave with
An understanding of why you personally need things to be perfect at Christmas
As a result of ⬆️, you’ll feel a sense of calm at things NOT being perfect
It’s for you if
You want to let go of some of the non-essential things at Christmas, like perfectly decorating all the presents, but your voice keeps telling you “it’s not good enough”
You want time to enjoy the important things at Christmas, like quality time with Grandma and her home-made mince-pies
In exchange for the low cost of these (I’m only offering two of these at £27.50 each), I’m asking for a short testimonial.
For more info, or to book a slot, send me an email.
That’s it folks
Even if EFT isn’t for you right now, I hope it encourages you to think about what thoughts and beliefs make it hard for you to release your perfectionism.
Because if you can do that… well you’ll enjoy a lot more of this special time of year.
Sending love,
Lucy x
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You said, "The voice that kept me doing things that filled up my diary but weren’t essential and ultimately made me stressed and not enjoy any of it."
This hit home for me. It's so easy to get caught up in the "busy-ness" of the holidays and lose sight of what's truly important. And honestly, more than just the holidays :)
Your article is a great reminder to slow down, prioritize, and focus on what brings us joy.