I like that it's taking the glasses off rather than introducing something new.
I can definitely think of a few filters I live with a lot of the time particularly I need to check with a colleague incase I've missed something. Normally they are agreeing with my plan and I would be so much quicker if I didnt have to check every blood test with someone
I'm going to try and trust my judgement and be more confident with my recommendations and be comfortable that I'm not always going to get it right and that doesnt make me a bad vet
1 That I am in a negative cycle of distrust and that is why I am finding it hard to switch of. This is really most apparent at work because I have my dream job but my filter is one that I am only there because I have worked so very hard and so must keep this up to succeed
2 I will challenge myself by asking why questions and I will start small to build trust that I can get jobs done well and on time if I go slower
Love this Susan! And can I reflect back something from our conversations at work - you already have started seeing yourself being more productive since slowing down and being more mindful and so it's only going to improve from here ☺️
Very insightful and love your analogies! Taking the glasses off is something I appreciate in mindfulness most. It’s an outside the box approach to typical CBT where we get into “discussion” with our thoughts trying to reframe them whereas mindfulness offers compassionate surrender. Re glasses, who put them on, you, society, employer, partner, parents. And why would we want to take them off , I feel often pain is that aha moment for most people.Brilliant series 😃👏
Gosia you always ask the most brilliant questions, that I really have to think about! Firstly, taking the glasses off doesn't mean you don't feel ever pain - if means you perceive it differently, and with much more kindness. But conversely, if pain / discomfort / guilt etc indicates that you're wearing the filter - why would you need the pain, if the filter has been removed and the lesson has been learnt? Glad you've enjoyed it though, and thanks for giving me something to think about!
Hanks for another thought provoking listen.....I wonder about this topic....if I stop feeling the necessity to write things down on a list, will I still remember to do them? Will I worry about forgetting about those things more if I don't write it down and therefore it will be more disruptful? Is it working for me to allow those thoughts to interrupt my flow, note it down and keep going, or perhaps I should be pushing them away and trust myself that I'll come to them at the appropriate time ....??? Interested to see whether others have thoughts on this as there was a post earlier in week on this!
Thanks for sharing this question Ellie because it's something a lot of people think about!
A few thoughts here.
You wouldn't try and run a marathon if you couldn't run for the bus. So start small. See how it feels with small things, and if you like it and learn to trust yourself, then build up.
And then yes, initially, it might feel more disruptful. You're training your brain to do something differently, and that's hard. Just like your muscles would ache if you did a new physical workout, but overtime, they'd adapt. One day you realise you're lifting double the weights you once were and it doesn't leave you at all sore.
So how do you get through the hard bit at the beginning? Again, it's just like physical training.
Firstly, you have a clear goal in mind. You focus on the benefits of this new way of thinking and living and what that will mean to you (eg. focusing on one task at a time without mental interruptions, enjoying time with your kids without thoughts about work). Then you create a clear plan, so you know that what you're doing is going to help you achieve that. And thirdly you have strategies to help the discomfort - rather than a nice sports massage or a warm bath, we can be kind to ourselves and learn strategies for dealing with mental discomfort. That's exactly what we're doing tomorrow 🥰
I hope that helps a little! And remember if training your brain isn't right for you at the moment, that's totally ok too x
The biggest lesson for me today is that filters can be more than having a pessimistic or positive outlook, or very broad filters. A filter can be a small as 'I need to get all this done otherwise my boss is going to think I'm useless' or much more small/specific things which can make a big difference to how you feel. For example i always feel hugely guilty if I have a lunch break..I have to double check with all my colleagues they are OK and check there are no bits of work or emails I could be doing before I give myself permission to have lunch. And I'm still slightly paranoid when I come back my boss or someone will have needed me and question why I thought it was ok to go have a break. Didn't see that as a filter..but I'd love to get rid of it!
In terms of doing something differently, I want to try and start paying attention to filters i may have, but as you said in the podcast it's easier said than done to recognise them!
Is there tell tale signs you are looking at something through a filter? Is there ways to self identify filters?
Thanks for sharing Hannah, LOVE the insights you're having around the small filters and how they're affecting your day-to-day. And again, great questions.
Tell-tale signs you're looking at something through a filter: anything that's hard. ANYTHING. Martin Seligman, a hotshot positive psychologist, says that it's not adverse events that cause adverse feelings - it's our beliefs about them. Take a moment (or more, because this concept still blows my mind) to think about any challenging situation. If you could truly be in the present moment with that situation, and remove negative beliefs about it (i.e. if you could be mindful!),then the vast majority of the time, it wouldn't actually be difficult. It's our beliefs that make life hard. And there are exceptions - sometimes things are genuinely hard. But even when that's the case, our beliefs / filters can make it easier or harder to deal with - and so mindfulness helps here too.
So, if something's challenging or you feel discomfort, ask yourself what filter you're wearing.
One helpful tip for identifying them, is to ask if everyone in the world would see the situation the same way as you. If not, it's a filter.
I like that it's taking the glasses off rather than introducing something new.
I can definitely think of a few filters I live with a lot of the time particularly I need to check with a colleague incase I've missed something. Normally they are agreeing with my plan and I would be so much quicker if I didnt have to check every blood test with someone
I'm going to try and trust my judgement and be more confident with my recommendations and be comfortable that I'm not always going to get it right and that doesnt make me a bad vet
LOVE THIS LAURA! 👏
1 That I am in a negative cycle of distrust and that is why I am finding it hard to switch of. This is really most apparent at work because I have my dream job but my filter is one that I am only there because I have worked so very hard and so must keep this up to succeed
2 I will challenge myself by asking why questions and I will start small to build trust that I can get jobs done well and on time if I go slower
3 no questions thank you!
Love this Susan! And can I reflect back something from our conversations at work - you already have started seeing yourself being more productive since slowing down and being more mindful and so it's only going to improve from here ☺️
Very insightful and love your analogies! Taking the glasses off is something I appreciate in mindfulness most. It’s an outside the box approach to typical CBT where we get into “discussion” with our thoughts trying to reframe them whereas mindfulness offers compassionate surrender. Re glasses, who put them on, you, society, employer, partner, parents. And why would we want to take them off , I feel often pain is that aha moment for most people.Brilliant series 😃👏
Gosia you always ask the most brilliant questions, that I really have to think about! Firstly, taking the glasses off doesn't mean you don't feel ever pain - if means you perceive it differently, and with much more kindness. But conversely, if pain / discomfort / guilt etc indicates that you're wearing the filter - why would you need the pain, if the filter has been removed and the lesson has been learnt? Glad you've enjoyed it though, and thanks for giving me something to think about!
Hanks for another thought provoking listen.....I wonder about this topic....if I stop feeling the necessity to write things down on a list, will I still remember to do them? Will I worry about forgetting about those things more if I don't write it down and therefore it will be more disruptful? Is it working for me to allow those thoughts to interrupt my flow, note it down and keep going, or perhaps I should be pushing them away and trust myself that I'll come to them at the appropriate time ....??? Interested to see whether others have thoughts on this as there was a post earlier in week on this!
Thanks for sharing this question Ellie because it's something a lot of people think about!
A few thoughts here.
You wouldn't try and run a marathon if you couldn't run for the bus. So start small. See how it feels with small things, and if you like it and learn to trust yourself, then build up.
And then yes, initially, it might feel more disruptful. You're training your brain to do something differently, and that's hard. Just like your muscles would ache if you did a new physical workout, but overtime, they'd adapt. One day you realise you're lifting double the weights you once were and it doesn't leave you at all sore.
So how do you get through the hard bit at the beginning? Again, it's just like physical training.
Firstly, you have a clear goal in mind. You focus on the benefits of this new way of thinking and living and what that will mean to you (eg. focusing on one task at a time without mental interruptions, enjoying time with your kids without thoughts about work). Then you create a clear plan, so you know that what you're doing is going to help you achieve that. And thirdly you have strategies to help the discomfort - rather than a nice sports massage or a warm bath, we can be kind to ourselves and learn strategies for dealing with mental discomfort. That's exactly what we're doing tomorrow 🥰
I hope that helps a little! And remember if training your brain isn't right for you at the moment, that's totally ok too x
The biggest lesson for me today is that filters can be more than having a pessimistic or positive outlook, or very broad filters. A filter can be a small as 'I need to get all this done otherwise my boss is going to think I'm useless' or much more small/specific things which can make a big difference to how you feel. For example i always feel hugely guilty if I have a lunch break..I have to double check with all my colleagues they are OK and check there are no bits of work or emails I could be doing before I give myself permission to have lunch. And I'm still slightly paranoid when I come back my boss or someone will have needed me and question why I thought it was ok to go have a break. Didn't see that as a filter..but I'd love to get rid of it!
In terms of doing something differently, I want to try and start paying attention to filters i may have, but as you said in the podcast it's easier said than done to recognise them!
Is there tell tale signs you are looking at something through a filter? Is there ways to self identify filters?
Thanks for sharing Hannah, LOVE the insights you're having around the small filters and how they're affecting your day-to-day. And again, great questions.
Tell-tale signs you're looking at something through a filter: anything that's hard. ANYTHING. Martin Seligman, a hotshot positive psychologist, says that it's not adverse events that cause adverse feelings - it's our beliefs about them. Take a moment (or more, because this concept still blows my mind) to think about any challenging situation. If you could truly be in the present moment with that situation, and remove negative beliefs about it (i.e. if you could be mindful!),then the vast majority of the time, it wouldn't actually be difficult. It's our beliefs that make life hard. And there are exceptions - sometimes things are genuinely hard. But even when that's the case, our beliefs / filters can make it easier or harder to deal with - and so mindfulness helps here too.
So, if something's challenging or you feel discomfort, ask yourself what filter you're wearing.
One helpful tip for identifying them, is to ask if everyone in the world would see the situation the same way as you. If not, it's a filter.